a bit to share

So I wasn't really going to discuss my personal situation on here, but I think, if anything, it would be healthy and good for me to do so. Quinn and I seperated last month, in January. A decision that has been needed for some time now. To put it nicely, our priorities have just grown far too distant and I am beginning to understand what "Irreconcilable Differences" really means. Going back to teaching this year was one of the hardest decision I had to agree to make. I was not happy about it, but at this end of it, I can't imagine if I wouldn't have done it. It has kept me sane. It has given me space and seperation when it was very much needed. Life has continued to become very overwhelming, just trying to juggle and balance everything. I always feel a few steps behind, and I am still trying to learn where to draw the line between what NEEDs to get done and what has to get done. I just can't do it all, like I use to. I have learned to let a lot of things go that use to drive me crazy if they weren't done. I am learning to be OK with things not being perfect (or even close to it). Quinn continues to come to the house during the day and work from here and continue our arrangments of him taking care of Nalu and Ash during the day while I work. There are things that he chooses to do during his time with the boys that I don't agree with, but that is another battle I am choosing to not fight. He leaves when I come home from work and I remove my teacher hat and put back on my mom hat. Although the two of them intertwine quite a bit. I feel frustrated with the heavy responsiblity I carry to TRY and get my kids (mostly Kaipo) to get his homework done, fix dinner, juggle schedules when needed, and that is probably a big reason why my kids are not in any after school acitvities except Ame in Hula and her activity days. I know they want and should do more things, but I feel overwhelmed as it is. I am though, finally starting to feel like this is my NEW life, and that I can do this single mom thing, so maybe soon enough I will feel like I can add more to my plate. Not only am I challenged with my job, and now my seperation from Quinn, but Kaipo I am sure has ADHD. I went to a seminar a few weeks ago and everything that was talked about as signs, I could just shake my head and said yep, thats Kaipo and oh that is definitely how he does things,etc. I am in regular communication with his school teachers about behavior issues and have also contacted the school psychologist for additional help. This is definitely a characteristic that Kaipo inherited from his father, and yet I am the only one who sees it has a REAl challenge and will be (I am convinced) the only one who seeks out help and does something to help Kaipo deal with it.
So to say the least life feels overwhelming and I would be lying if I didn't have thoughts that this is soo not fair and why did I get all of this...
But I am constantly praying and trying to have patience to one day see and understand the need for this challenge in my life. I know for sure patience is a quality I lack greatly, so that I am sure if one area I need to learn and grow in. I definitely am making it, one day at a time. My kids and the tremendous love and support I feel from my amazing family and close friends is what gives me strength to keep fighting, trying and hangin' on.... At times I felt soo alone, but have also felt my Saviors Love more than I ever have before. My down times have not lasted too long because I am quickly comforted by the spirit. I am realizing that my Heavenly Father truly know ME and what I am going through. My Savior suffered the same sorrows I feel and that lifts me, then helps me pick myself up, put my head and say tomorrow WILL BE a better day!